Rock
by Elizabeth Robbins
Summary: Jubilee's thoughts about a certain Canadian wild man.


Disclaimers: The X-Men and Jubilation Lee are the property of Marvel Comics and are being used without permission. I am making no money from their use.

Rock: Jubilee's thoughts about a certain feral wild man.

Wolverine. What can I tell you about him that you don't already know? He's a mutant but that's obvious. He's short, hairy and built like a junkyard dog. Mean as one, too but that's only if you don't know him.

I guess I know him better than most. Maybe better than anyone. Wolvie and I have been together for about five years. For me, that's a long time but for him, it's just a drop in the bucket. I'm eighteen but Wolvie's like a hundred and eighteen. That's a big age gap. You'd think that a guy that old would have trouble relating to a teenager but let me tell you something: Wolvie understands me. He loves me, no matter what I do.

No, ya pervert. It's not like that. Get your mind outta the gutter. He's not my lover although I wouldn't say no if he asked. Yeah, we're best friends but there's more to it than that. We know what it is but no one else does. Even Jean, Emma and Chuck don't understand what we are to each other and they're telepaths. You'd think someone who can look into our minds would understand but they don't.

I don't know when I realized what he had become to me. I think it may have been when he lost his Adamantium. I didn't go on that mission. I stayed home and worried my head off. A few hours before they came home, I started to hurt. The only way to describe it was an ache that went all the way to my soul. I knew something had gone wrong on the mission. I tried to get them to talk to me but no one would say anything that made any sense. All I could hear over the comm was yelling and demands on how to treat major trauma. When they got home, I could have died. He was so hurt! Every nerve ending in his body had to have been raw. I couldn't touch him without causing him pain so I just sat there at his side and tried to will some of my strength into him.

I knew that when he healed, he would leave. He placed a lot of stock in that god-awful metal and not having it would make him think he was a liability. I tried to get him to see that he was more than just his Adamantium. That even if he wasn't unbreakable anymore, he was still very important to me.

He left anyway but not before leaving me a letter and his beat up old hat. I still have that ratty old hat. It sits on my dresser where ever I live along with a picture of the two of us. When I have trouble sleeping, I curl up around it and make believe he's there with me and I'm safe. Kinda pathetic, I know but it works.

A lot of people have asked me how I can still love him when he left me like he did after Bastion. Well, I have to admit that he hurt me when he dumped me at the Academy and left me there. I had a lot of problems getting to sleep for months after that. I tried to tell him but Kitty was having problems right around then and he wanted to be with her. I know that if I had told him exactly why I needed him, he would have been there with me but I couldn't tell him. I didn't want him to know how bad they hurt me. It would have destroyed him.

Our lives aren't all fighting and running for our lives. Some of the best times I had with him were just normal days. Just me and him, riding his scoot to nowhere. It used to drive Frosty nuts when he came to the school and took me away with him. He would just show up and tell me to pack light. Next thing you know, we were off on an adventure leaving Frost and Sean behind to fume. I like being with him. To tell the truth, I'm a little nervous when he's not around.

It's no secret that I have nightmares. Considering that I can scream the house down when I have one, it couldn't be a secret. Emma thinks that they've decreased over time but that's not true. I still have them fairly frequently but now I know when I'm going to have one and so does Wolvie. When I have the feeling I'm going to have a bad night, Wolvie invites me to sleep in his room or he'll sleep in mine. It's all very innocent. I sleep on the bed and he sleeps on the floor right beside me. When the dream starts, he'll climb into bed with me and just hold me and chase the dreams away. I don't think Frosty or Cyke would be too surprised to find out that he does this for me but they can't ever find out that I do the same thing for him.

I always know when he's going to have a nightmare. He has this hollowness in his eyes that's painful to see. I know something from his past is haunting him. I wait until he's asleep and go to his room. He's usually already thrashing by the time I get there so I make sure to let him get my scent before I do anything. It's almost like magic. I let him smell my arm and when he stops moving, I climb in and tuck my head under his nose. He's always quiet after that and the rest of the night is calm.

I think that if you really want to get a picture about what he means to me you have to look at what I'm like when he isn't there. When Wolvie's gone, I'm nervous, antsy, twitchy and a whole lot more reckless. I wander the halls of the mansion looking for something but if you ask, I couldn't begin to tell you what I'm looking for. I start missing him as soon as he pulls that travel bag out of his closet.

Oh, but when he's here, I'm so happy I could float. All he needs to do is smile at me and I feel safe. Everything is so cold when he's gone but when he's here, I'm toasty warm.

Jean once told me that she could see something when we were together. She described it as a silver thread that went between us. She said it didn't look like a psy link like she had with Scott and it wasn't like the familial bonds she'd seen between parent and child. She wasn't sure what it was. I told her it was a link between a Wolverine and his best bud and since there was only one Wolverine and he only had one best bud... Well, no wonder she didn't recognize it. It's a one of a kind thing.

Oh, I hear what you're thinking. He's a liar, a cheat, a killer and a man slut with severe anger management issues. Yeah, he's all that. His philosophy is why tell the truth when a lie will do just as good. He'll cheat you out of your last dollar and he'll sleep with any woman who catches his eye. As for anger, let's not go there. He has good reasons for being angry and I can't blame him. All those things and more make up who he is and I wouldn't have him any other way.

What is Wolverine to me? He's not my father, brother, lover or any of a million other rolls. He's more than just my best friend and partner. He's the reason I stay here. Home is where ever he is. He's my safe port in the storm. He's my rock.


End file.
